I’m comtemplating loosing the mask. Letting my “freak-flag” fly lol. For those not knowing what I’m referring to, let me explain. My shotgun suicide attempt left my face pretty messed up. I use the mask to reduce stares, to cover it up so it’s not so noticeable.
Is this right, I wonder? Well I do grow tired of the stares. But even with the mask people stare. Further, and more importantly, I believe my wearing of the mask is to cover my shame (as my poem “scarlet letter,” points to). I am so ashamed for what I did:I praise God for being alive but the guilt and shame remain. The evil one loves to make me fearful, self-concious and ashamed. This is all an attempt to steal my joy and peace in Christ. More so it’s to hinder me proclaiming the gospel.
I am absolutely forgiven in Christ. He paid the FULL penalty for my sin. I’m clothed with the righteousness of Christ: imputed with alien, perfection. I do not, and cannot add to or subtract from my perfection in Christ.
And while it was indeed an act of wicked rebellion on my part, our God is the God of redemption. He can use ALL things, including this horror for His glory!
I will use what happened to me to proclaim Christ. Every stare, question is an opportunity to tell of my Savior.
“He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” (Revelation 21:5).
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Father God please enable us to use all things for your purposes and glory. The shame we carry is a Testament to your grace and mercy. May every scar tell of the love of Christ. We walk in newness of life, in complete and total forgiveness. Make us look to the Savior at all times, please Lord. Make us fearless ambassadors for Jesus. Fearless and on fire for our Savior. All glory, all honor and all praise, in Jesus’ blessed name. Amen