My past if pretty dark as anybody who knows me and/or reads my blog will know. Utter depravity is my past, a total testament to the absolute undeserved, unmerited mercy of God in the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am forgiven, cleansed, new, and changed in Him, by Him, for Him.
I’ve been thinking; I do that from time to time 😉 Trying to figure out how it all went wrong. I know sin, rebellion and following this fallen-world, its ways, and ruler is to explain. However, at the root of all of it was insane pride. Absolute ego. Love and exultatation of self. From the way I looked, to how I spoke: ego, ego, ego, me, me, me lol. To highlight, let me share a memory. After my suicide attempt, while the Lord was working on me, I recall praying to the Father: “you know, God, You could really use me to reach people…”Astounding indeed lol. I’m embarassed by such ridiculousness, and SO thankful for our Lord’s patience, forgiveness, mercy, and on-going work of sanctification in Christ Jesus! It’s humbling to know that it took me literally loosing everything, to have nothing to “offer” God, nor anyone, to come to true faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
I am blessed, so blessed to know the Only Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It is an absolute undeserved honor to preach the Gospel. He “needs” nothing from me, you, nor anyone…truth! He’s willing to use us for His glory, purpose, to reach a dying world with the beautiful Gospel of Christ Jesus indeed, but “need me,” not so much.
Father God, praise, thanks, love and adoration to You! thank You so much for saving us in the Lord Jesus Christ. You do not need anything, Lord God. we need You! May we humbly, passionately, joyously, and faithfully do Your will. May we preach as we ought, in true love, humility, passion, and truth..All in, by, and of You Lord Jesus Christ. Amen