The face of sins reward

I’ve always been pretty stubborn. Perhaps you can associate. I always had to find out for myself, take “the hard road.” If someone suggests something i listen and go about my way. If I’m ordered to do something i immediately rebel. As a result of this hard-heartedness you see, is my rather chaotic life. I’mContinue reading “The face of sins reward”

Law and gospel

There exists in modern evangelicalism a missing component. The gospel is presented, the cure, but the sickness isn’t pointed out. sin. Using the law as the means of mirroring its living in all of us. We get decent reception with the good news, all “that talk about sin and God’s wrath toward sinners is soContinue reading “Law and gospel”

Hoping for chaos

There exists within many believers and myself I’ve found an odd occurrence. As Scripture speaks about the wickedness and chaos leading up until Christ comes. We, I, desire our Lord to return so bad that we find ourselves almost rejoicing at the chaos coming about. I confess that I am not shocked by events, ifContinue reading “Hoping for chaos”

At odds

Welcome: please join me on this journey of introspection! I’m perplexed in understanding my past, my involvement in the church and my apostasy and in the end attempted suicide. What I mean is was I saved? I confessed Christ and was involved in the church and studied theology in depth. So there are three possibleContinue reading “At odds”

Scarlet letter

A scarlet letter for all to see it’s all that people see of me I try my best to take it off yet fail and fail each time I try This face you see it isn’t me The stares the looks the awkward gaze is hard to take most days I try and act likeContinue reading “Scarlet letter”

Vanity of vanities

In our society it seems there is an epidemic of mental illness. Hopelessness and despair runs rampant….why is it so, you may ask…I know I surely do. Perhaps is not an epidemic of mental illness. perhaps it’s a legitimate reaction to the futility, hardship and perplexing nature of our lives as humans? Look at itContinue reading “Vanity of vanities”

Freedom

The truth is I failed you. I failed myself, my mom, my dad, and most of all my God. I’m cool, but I have a dark side I’m told I’m chased by something I can’t quite explain. I know not its purpose or even its name. A demon of sorts to abuse and destroy. TheContinue reading “Freedom”

Reminisces of an idolater

In reminiscing about my past, trying to make sense of the blatant contractions, I’ve come to realize a hard truth. Let me start at the beginning. I was raised in a new age family. My dad did psychic readings for money. I was indifferent to religion. This changed however when I met J. Her familyContinue reading “Reminisces of an idolater”

From death to life

So, where to begin?! I’m honestly still trying to make sense of it, but something I realized after stands out to me. I had dealt with depression for years on and off and struggled with a constant feeling of not belonging or having purpose or reason to live. I went in and out of hospitalsContinue reading “From death to life”