NAMI Interview with me

Here is an interview I did recently for NAMI (National Alliance Of Mental Illness). If you’re struggling with depression, hopelessness, and contemplating suicide, please please hold on! Please turn to the Living Lord Jesus Christ, in Him and Him alone is life. I’m not telling you to “be religious,” no, not at all! Christ JesusContinue reading “NAMI Interview with me”

Under pressure

We’re all under pressure, right? Most defiently: pressure from the inside, pressure from the outside, pressure all around. Family, friends, work, finances, expectations, decisions, etc., etc. A lot going on each and everyday! Mr. Bowie, and Mercury had it right! 😉 Imagine with me something: say you won an exorbitant amount of money, say 10Continue reading “Under pressure”

The Big 36

It’s my birthday today, not a particularly remarkable event given the number of human beings on our planet. But, wait, perhaps remarkable because I’m alive…in more ways than one! I started off the year with bang (too soon for suicide jokes?) My life as I knew it ended that day, I survived physically but cameContinue reading “The Big 36”

Loosing the mask

I’m comtemplating loosing the mask. Letting my “freak-flag” fly lol. For those not knowing what I’m referring to, let me explain. My shotgun suicide attempt left my face pretty messed up. I use the mask to reduce stares, to cover it up so it’s not so noticeable. Is this right, I wonder? Well I doContinue reading “Loosing the mask”

At odds

Welcome: please join me on this journey of introspection! I’m perplexed in understanding my past, my involvement in the church and my apostasy and in the end attempted suicide. What I mean is was I saved? I confessed Christ and was involved in the church and studied theology in depth. So there are three possibleContinue reading “At odds”

Scarlet letter

A scarlet letter for all to see it’s all that people see of me I try my best to take it off yet fail and fail each time I try This face you see it isn’t me The stares the looks the awkward gaze is hard to take most days I try and act likeContinue reading “Scarlet letter”

Reminisces of an idolater

In reminiscing about my past, trying to make sense of the blatant contractions, I’ve come to realize a hard truth. Let me start at the beginning. I was raised in a new age family. My dad did psychic readings for money. I was indifferent to religion. This changed however when I met J. Her familyContinue reading “Reminisces of an idolater”

From death to life

So, where to begin?! I’m honestly still trying to make sense of it, but something I realized after stands out to me. I had dealt with depression for years on and off and struggled with a constant feeling of not belonging or having purpose or reason to live. I went in and out of hospitalsContinue reading “From death to life”

The darkest night

The sound is deafening! What in the world is that mechanical noise?! “Where am I, why does my head hurt SO bad?!” It’s amazing I was concious…it’s hard to explain how without mention of something beyond merely the physical. On May seventeenth of twenty nineteen I woke up in my car to the sound ofContinue reading “The darkest night”