Truly Amazing!

Praise God!  All glory, honor, praise and worship!  Please pray for an encounter I’m in the midst of.  I went out to witness and met, Dwight, a homeless man who was planning on killing himself with drugs (a mixture of a ton of methadone and other drugs).  He’s safe, dumped out the chemicals and hasContinue reading “Truly Amazing!”

The face of sins reward

I’ve always been pretty stubborn. Perhaps you can associate. I always had to find out for myself, take “the hard road.” If someone suggests something i listen and go about my way. If I’m ordered to do something i immediately rebel. As a result of this hard-heartedness you see, is my rather chaotic life. I’mContinue reading “The face of sins reward”

Under pressure

We’re all under pressure, right? Most defiently: pressure from the inside, pressure from the outside, pressure all around. Family, friends, work, finances, expectations, decisions, etc., etc. A lot going on each and everyday! Mr. Bowie, and Mercury had it right! 😉 Imagine with me something: say you won an exorbitant amount of money, say 10Continue reading “Under pressure”

The Big 36

It’s my birthday today, not a particularly remarkable event given the number of human beings on our planet. But, wait, perhaps remarkable because I’m alive…in more ways than one! I started off the year with bang (too soon for suicide jokes?) My life as I knew it ended that day, I survived physically but cameContinue reading “The Big 36”

Loosing the mask

I’m comtemplating loosing the mask. Letting my “freak-flag” fly lol. For those not knowing what I’m referring to, let me explain. My shotgun suicide attempt left my face pretty messed up. I use the mask to reduce stares, to cover it up so it’s not so noticeable. Is this right, I wonder? Well I doContinue reading “Loosing the mask”

Wages

I obsessed over death for years. I remember as a child rigging up a dead-fall out of 100 lbs of workout weights and a tripwire to fall on my head and kill me. I had been thinking of suicide and an infatuation with death since I can remember. I thought that life was hell andContinue reading “Wages”

Awesome God

Our God is truly incredible. Prompted by my face, people asking questions, I was able to present the full gospel to an individual. I was outside and we began to talk which lead, by God’s working to the topic of religion. I agreed, religion is poison. It is mans attempt at reconcialing ourselves to Him.Continue reading “Awesome God”

At odds

Welcome: please join me on this journey of introspection! I’m perplexed in understanding my past, my involvement in the church and my apostasy and in the end attempted suicide. What I mean is was I saved? I confessed Christ and was involved in the church and studied theology in depth. So there are three possibleContinue reading “At odds”

Scarlet letter

A scarlet letter for all to see it’s all that people see of me I try my best to take it off yet fail and fail each time I try This face you see it isn’t me The stares the looks the awkward gaze is hard to take most days I try and act likeContinue reading “Scarlet letter”

Reminisces of an idolater

In reminiscing about my past, trying to make sense of the blatant contractions, I’ve come to realize a hard truth. Let me start at the beginning. I was raised in a new age family. My dad did psychic readings for money. I was indifferent to religion. This changed however when I met J. Her familyContinue reading “Reminisces of an idolater”